I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize