Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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