So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
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i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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