I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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