What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
it's great music for shaving your balls
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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