so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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