Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
operation harelip BJ is a go
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
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