i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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