i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
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He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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