wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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