Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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