she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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