I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize