waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
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Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I want to fling myself into the sun
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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