I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
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You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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