If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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