my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
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Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
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I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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