you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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