Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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