There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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