You made me cry and you don't even care
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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