On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize