I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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