You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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