dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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