if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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