I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
