Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize