im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
