Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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