Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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