just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
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