guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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