Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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