the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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