Little spoons don't ask big questions
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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