Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
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Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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