How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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