he wants to bone in the snuggie
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
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plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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