Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize