cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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