Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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