He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
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I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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