Whod you bang
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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