he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
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You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
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That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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