An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
there was a trapeze. enough said
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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