You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize