yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
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The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
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He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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