forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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