Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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